All In The Families Season 6, Episode 20, “Archie’s weighty problem.” starts with Edith, Archie’s hilarious and adoring wife, running in to greet Archie after a long day at work. She goes to give Archie a hug, but he just gives her this “What do you THINK woman?” look, so she stops and says, “I guess ya didn’t.” Then Archie exclaims in an almost broken voice, “How am I gonna have a nice day on that diet you put me on? I had a hungry day, Edith!”
Archie continues to complain about the contents of his lunch box. Edith gave him carrots, tuna fish, and an orange. He tells her, “you know what I did with those carrots? I gave ’em to the birds! The tuna fish I gave to the warehouse CAT, and that orange I threw!”
Edith begins to reassure him that it’s going to be ok. The look on both of their faces is pure classic comedy gold. Apparently, Archie’s doctor told him he needed to lose 25 pounds. Still, Edith tells him, “not worry because the first 3 days are the hardest, and Mike, Gloria, and herself are dieting too to keep him company!” Then, she tells Archie an old saying that she hilariously mixes around. “You know what they say! Misery is the BEST company!”
Archie continues to complain and makes faces about what his doctor recommends and tells Edith that doctors never get hungry because the heaviest thing they ever have to shove around is a thermometer!
Archie then tells Edith, “I’ll tell you something about misery. Misery wants a beer!” He runs into the kitchen with a distressed Edith chasing after him. Edith beats him to the fridge and blocks it, saying, “YOUR HEART! YOUR HEART! You gotta watch your heart and lose that weight!” Archie and Edith go back and forth about Archies weight, and he barely slips a finger in the side of his waistband and tries to convince her he has lost enough weight.
Archie tricks Edith into moving as they talk by telling her she’s standing on a mouse. Edith screams and runs until she realizes Archie fooled her. Edith tricks Archie back by telling him there’s a spider in his collar and grabs the beer and hightails it across the kitchen. They go back and forth, with Archie waggling his finger at Edith. What happens next is so funny. Archies says, “You wrenched that can outta THIS HAND? Edith says, “yeeeeah, and every time I see a can, I’m gonna wrench it.”
Archie counts to three, expecting Edith to give him the beer, but instead, she tricks him, runs screaming out of the kitchen, and goes upstairs. The scene ends with Archie begging her not to dump the beer down the toilet. He says, “Edith, you are my WIFE!” Edith replies, “Yeah, and I don’t wanna be your widow!” Edith dumps the beer, and Archie says, “The most heartbrackin’ sound I eva heard.” while looking like he is about to cry.
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